Good morning, afternoon, evening or night

Hello,
How's it going?

It's been so long since I made the post about starting a new (almost a year). I nearly forgotten about this place but I realized this was my safe place when I was feeling down. My writing maybe shit, I maybe a bitch but I do care about others and I do have feelings. I feel after what went through my mind last year I became more of a bitch because that was how I felt/feel everyone thinks about me. I feel i'm selfish at times but I don't want to be, I wish I could put people ahead of me (which I do sometimes) but I feel like I don't do it as much as I should. I have this friend let's call her Callie, and she is an amazing person and I don't deserve her or our other friend (lets call her Sammy) because they are such caring people who help me but after last year I feel I can't give back to them. They deserve someone better than me, I don't deserve anyone, I deserve o be on my own forever just drifting.

My second reason for writing today is about how anxious I feel to move onto the future, I'm scared of everything that will happen and I don't know what to do. I have this thing where I have to be on time I get anxious if i'm late or if I'm early and my family make fun of that and it's just like could you not, just please maybe once not make fun of a situation because it just makes me more anxious but it also makes me angry. It's funny isn't it when I get anxious I also get angry and I struggle to control it and instead of seeking help I keep it locked inside, take now for and example I have been having stomach cramps since last Friday the day after I finished my Period and I have been having them at random times throughout the day so I told my mum and she just does nothing but I think it's my own fault from when I was a kid so I could stay out of school so my parents don't trust me anymore when I complain of being ill or hurting but I can understand. However this has made me keep to myself in my home and try to sort through things on my own or I get really awkward and anxious when talking about it. I have to leave school early for an orthodontist appointment next week and I hate those because I get really anxious
when it's the time to leave and I hate having to speak to my teachers. Sometimes it feels like help is there I just cant reach it because I just go back into my shell

Thank you to anyone who has bothered to read this,
I Love You xx
Cherry Blossom Over and Out

Starting A New

Its been so long since I've since I have posted on here. That sudden moment when you realize everything you have just written is a waste of time and you have to cut everything off because its so stupid and I am a terrible writer and sometimes I wish I would like this. I should think im beautiful because that's who I am and It doesn't help that I think im a bitch and I hate myself for thinking that sometimes and I wish I didn't do that so im going to start over...

Hi,

I am cherry Blossom I am 13 and I am socially awkward sometimes... 

I love reading and watching American TV. I spend time in my room alone from  everyone apart from the internet talking with people who like things like I do so.

Hey...

I hate life

Hello,

So over the past month or so I have been really sad and felt like no one cares.So recently my closest friends have been dissapering at break times so I can either sit on my own or go to my other friends but I'd rather be with my c lossest friends. So today I found out they have been going the music room. A lot of the time it feels like they're pushing me away and they don't want to talk to me. But one of my "friend's" said its my faulg and they said go to that thig but I asked her "would you even care if I was on my own at break and let me wonder where you are because that's what I do any way," and this person just kept trying to change the situation but she couldn't and I kept bringing it up but she ignored me. So I got really angry and  upset.
So today at break I did just sit on my own and read which made me feel worse about myself. And every night  for the last couple of weeks I've been thinking about how my friend's don't care about me and it came true today.

Cherry blossom over and out.

I don't like the new Horrible Histories "horrible histories special"

I cant believe it they had to go ruin horrible histories now it was one of my favorite TV shows now the new cast is quite bad and the first episode that went up today was not funny I am happy that they have kept some of the old cast but now it wont be the same. I am happy rattus rattus (I cant spell his name) and death are still in it but it cant be the same I remember the old series every episode was funny but the new series "horrible histories special" is not funny and there isn't anything that good about it.
I am sorry I am very angry about this.
Cherry Blossom
goodnight and goodbye

its life

Hi guys,
              I'm sorry i haven't posted in a while. But I have been feeling depressed and anxious and worried about everything in life. So last Thursday I went the theater with guides, i was there with my guide unit. My best friend sat next to me and her other best friend and they talked all evening laughing and giggling but when he talked to me she was shouting at me and getting angry but I didn't know what I had done it really upset me but I don't know what I had done. So the whole evening I sat next the my best friends really good friends mum and it felt so awkward so I sat there in silence watching this play. Am I just getting jeleouse of my friend having other friends whilst I have none in guides apart from her. It was quite a good play and I'm going again this Friday with my grandparents, brother and cousin.

My uncle, auntie and cousin, who live in Norway, came over to England on monday because they want to see the family and it's my cousins 4th birthday on Saturday, so we are having a party. It was so nice seeing them on Monday and playing in the garden together I felt whole again which I haven't felt in I don't know how long probably months and I was happy. I only just reailised today how much writing and watching TV and YouTube especially people on YouTube like Zoella, Pointless blog, the Saccone Joly's and Manny other you tubers help me. They all make me smile and laugh. I look up to them all because even though it is hard for them sometimes because of some peoples aggressive comments towards them, make them sad and/or angry they still film and put videos up for us all.They are kind to all of us which I love so much. It has been long and sometimes maybe hard for them to reach as far as they have which is amazing and people need to calm down. They are all human beings to.

Hey isn't it true that when you are told to sleep at night but you sometimes want to but your body is taking none of it and when your supposed to be wake and learning in school your body wants to sleep.

Well
Goodnight
Goodbye
Cherry blossom
Over and Out.

im annoyed

Hi guys,


I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while but I have been quite sad. I'm just tired of people dissing me and saying I'm a bitch or immspawn of Satan just because my phone died and they where trying to contact me. Then its hard because I have people putting all there trust in me and telling me this I cant cope. But worst of all I feel like no one cares about me like they all want me to do there work and I'm just there doing there dirty work and they are just sitting there and don't do anything in return.  Then I have a younger brother and mum and dad spend most of there time with him and sometimes I don't mind but then mum screams at me and tells me i cant go on my laptop and I get angry then she gets angry its hard being a 12 year old. I play this game called clash of clans and I have friends in my clan and then there are some people who call me a slut and other things its not funny to be called names i get so annoyed sometimes and I don't like it.

So bye everyone
Cherry blossom over and out

Hi guys,

I dont know why I feel like this but I'm always worried, anxious, stressed and scared and I don't know what'swrong with me. Do I need help?
I'm at my grandads house today and for this weekend. How do I not get so worried and stressed all the time? Ahhhh help.

How are all u guys.

Bye,
Cherry Blossom